“I’ve fallen in love too many times,” says Urdu singer-songwriter Sameer Rahat, whose debut album Aamad is a “journey of melancholia” through the aftermath of a relationship. Emotions run raw on the collection which the film composer and lead vocalist of rock band Joshish tells us has been ten years in the making. The title of the album and its artwork are inspired by the fact that it took Rahat a decade to get done. The cover shows him “facing a door that’s waiting to be opened… We’ve always been where we want to be, just that we don’t realise it,” he says philosophically. “It’s a matter of crossing that one last door. We stand in front of this door for years and years and wait for the right moment. What I realised is that there’s no right moment.” He gave us a track-by-track breakdown of the break-up record, which was co-produced by Mir Kashif Iqbal, guitarist for rock band Parvaaz. Jo Bhi Hai “It’s one of my poems. I recite poetry when I perform gigs. A lot of my friends and fans have asked me how they can find this [particular] poem. It’s about this guy who’s sitting in a room—it could be his head also, not literally a room—and thinking whatever he had earned from his relationship or whatever is left from it, is his now. It doesn’t matter if the other partner is no longer there. It’s about this sense of ownership but not pride. [Instrumentally] I’m not doing much on the track, just that one riff on the guitar, which sounds like a sarod. That’s a resonator guitar, usually used for bluegrass and country music, which I’ve used throughout the album.” Khat “There’s a very simple story behind this song. I found a letter my ex-girlfriend had written to me. She had put it in my briefcase and I ended up reading it after a month [by which time] we had already broken up. I started to write back to her and I thought why don’t I write a song instead? The chorus has the gist of the track, which is that ‘I’m not saying I’m not going to move on or you’re not going to move on. We’re going to meet other people. That’s how the world works. But I have a feeling that we might end up settling down for less, we’ll still be incomplete, what do you think?’ Hum Kaun Thae “It’s a poem by Jaun Elia that’s resonated with me for the longest time. My interpretation of what he says in it is that it talks about two people who aren’t in a relationship anymore. It could be two lovers, two friends, a mother and a child. It’s about how the relationship was once intense but you’re not the same people anymore. This song is probably the best track in terms of the production and how easily it flows. The guitar solo that Kashif plays on it is something else.” Tasalli “‘Tasalli’ means ‘solace’. This song marks that point at the end of the relationship when your partner has told you, ‘You’re going to be alright. I know you’re strong.’ When you part ways with someone, and they tell you ‘I’m not the right person for you. You’ll find someone better.’ Which is a crazy thing to say. It’s about accepting the consolation and also saying that ‘Okay, I’m going to move on but are you sure you want that if I actually do not come back, and you never hear my voice again?’ It’s about that last ray of hope. It’s the most calm, most slow track on the album.” Khuda Hai Kya “It’s another poem. After you’ve gone through the [attempts at] communication (‘Khat’), the self-contemplation (‘Hum Kaun Thae’) and the consolation (‘Tasalli’), then comes the fury and frustration where you ask yourself: ‘Why can’t I deal with this? It can’t be supernatural. It’s not bigger than the almighty.’ It’s fury in the sense of fighting with yourself, with the thoughts in your brain. [The lyrics talk] of these expressions that poets have always used in beautiful ways. But I say ‘No, you’re not like that. You’re like the soul. I can’t see you but I know you exist. Are you God?’” Chehre Gehre “Lyrically, it’s very unique. There are no conjunctions as such, just [a series of] words. This was very intentional. I was reading a lot of haiku [back when I started writing it] ten years ago and I thought I’d do this experimentation. When I finished the track, I said ‘Why not keep it like this and not have a chorus or structure and let people realise the story I’m trying to tell?’ In my head, I’ve always heard it with an orchestra and that’s why I think it took me a long time [to record it]. It features a string quartet and shows a lot of my film-music influences. In the song I’m giving up on the struggle, almost like losing hope but not and feeling half or incomplete.” Uss Paar “The lyrics of ‘Uss Paar’ are inspired by this quote by Rumi which says: “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” It’s a duet because it’s not a generic call but a call to someone you’d like to take that side. It features Rashmeet Kaur. Someone listening to my heavy voice for six tracks needed something sweeter, not so intense. That’s where she came into the picture. This song completely changes the vibe and becomes an electronic tune by the end. It’s kind of a transition into my next album, which is going to be more synth-based.”