“We were done,” Trophy Eyes lead vocalist John Floreani tells Apple Music, referring to the pandemic lockdown that all but crippled the band’s morale and finances. “We were broken up. We told our agents and we told everybody: ‘That’s enough for us.’ But after this, we got back together, we were writing together, and our chemistry was just as good as ever. We all love each other so much.” Floreani labored for almost four years penning the evocative lyrics for Suicide and Sunshine, which was recorded in Thailand with longtime producer Shane Edwards. The title comes from the disarmingly sunny day that followed the suicide of a dear friend, it’s an album that explores the broader existential idea that we all thirst for life even though we know it must end—sometimes tragically. “The message behind it all is that negative and positive situations are as valuable as each other,” he says. “One day when you don’t have the chance to feel anything anymore, you’ll wish that you could feel something awful for just one last second. In life, they’re the same thing. We’re lucky to have any of it at all.” Read on for Floreani’s insights into each song on the album. “Sydney” “I’m from a little town called Mudgee in New South Wales. It’s tiny. Sydney was the first place I lived once I clawed my way out of there. I was just enamored. I’d go and people-watch, I’d write, I’d sit by the monuments and just breathe it in. I put ‘Sydney’ first because the album’s about life and how insignificant it is, and how beautiful it is. I wanted to start the story with the cosmic address of where it first takes place.” “Life in Slow Motion” “It’s my assessment of life and how humans navigate it. How small and insignificant everything is. How unlikely everything is, but how beautiful that makes everything. We’re all these weird little nervous systems in meat shells walking around and we communicate with each other. I think it is beautiful, and that’s why it’s written in that disassociated way: It’s me observing life without that ‘main character’ feeling. Just watching the world around you.” “People Like You” “I grew up really, really poor in a well-off mining and farming town. I lived in hand-me-downs. I had a pretty intense home life, so I had to learn to fight really early. It was rough at school as well. It’s a song for the ugly people, and I consider myself one of those—someone that doesn’t quite fit, bit rough around the edges.” “My Inheritance” “This carries on directly from my home life growing up. It’s about domestic abuse and having a rough time at home, being afraid of your father. It’s an intense song. It doesn’t really sound like it. It sounds like Kanye and LINKIN PARK wrote a chorus. Violence, emotional abuse, and psychological abuse: You inherit those things and you pass them on. That’s why it’s called ‘My Inheritance.’ It’s me talking to people I love or maybe future children: ‘Never wanted you to inherit my youth.’” “Blue Eyed Boy” “This is about a friend of mine who I’ve known almost from birth. We got in a lot of trouble together when we were kids. It got really out of hand by the time we were 16 and got into doing meth. While looking for inspiration for the album, I went back to my hometown and went to this guy’s house. He lives with his parents again now. That’s where the song starts. The first verse is my conversation with his family.” “Runaway, Come Home” “I kind of stole the vibe from a weird ambient song I’ve always liked. I was like, ‘That’s the idea behind this album.’ We went into this expecting it to be our last record. We’re a mid-level band and we’ve been working at this for 10 years. So we said, ‘Let’s do one last record and just do everything we’ve ever wanted. Forget what anybody wants to hear. Let’s just write something real that we’ll be 100 percent proud of when we’re done.’ Vocoder on a Trophy Eyes song? Fuck it. Let’s put it in.” “Burden” “It’s got a lot to do with my behavior. Just total and utter annihilation. Drinking and drugs. A couple of really close calls I’ve had at home. If I get really, really fucked up, sometimes I lie naked on the bathroom tiles because it’s cold and cools you down. It’s a huge cry for help without crying for help. You don’t ever want to ask or let anybody know that you’re having a bad time because that’s when you feel like a burden. That’s what kills people: ‘I don’t want to get in anybody’s way.’” “Sean” “This is named after a friend of mine who killed himself. The song isn’t about Sean or my feelings. It’s about what happened on the day, about going to the house where my friends were all sitting around grieving. Curtains drawn and people crying, the smell of straight liquor and smoking indoors. People just went, ‘Fuck it. There’s nothing worse than this.’ The music is almost dissonant. I wanted it to feel confusing. You don’t know when it’s going to end, and it feels cold.” “What Hurts the Most” “It’s about a friend I went to school with. We had all these big dreams about how to get out of our hometown. We were like, ‘Fuck it, let’s do this thing. Let’s get out of here and start a band. Let’s move to Newcastle. Let’s have a good life.’ I just packed up and was like, ‘Let’s go.’ And he was like, ‘Oh, I can’t, I’ve got a job and stuff.’ So I joined Trophy Eyes in Newcastle and we drifted apart because I started touring immediately. I actually never saw him again.” “Omw” “The album needed this injection of energy. Deep down we’re a punk band. We needed a punk song. It’s about trying to be better for the people that you love, trying to grow and start anew. It’s got to do with my journey through therapy and my constant fuck-ups. It’s a self-reflective song about outgrowing the shitty person you once were.” “Kill” “‘Kill’ is about people who weaponize love. I was seeing someone, but in no way, shape, or form were we dating. This person was expecting a lot more of me, so I had to walk away. It didn’t work like that. This person went after my friends and my relationships, really weaponized what we had, and did their best in every way to hurt me. It’s a reflection of what I went through. She attacked me because I wouldn’t love her.” “Sweet Soft Sound” “I’m hopelessly in love with my girlfriend, Bianca. I’ve wanted to write her a song describing how I feel for a long time, but it’s impossible because the feelings…they’re outside of words. It started at home with a synth bell, a ‘boop.’ I kept doing that over and over, and out came this rhythm that gave me this memory of us in bed just talking. Bianca has, without sounding corny, saved my life. She’s shown me that I can be loved, that I’m a human being and I deserve to be here just as much as the next person.” “Stay Here” “It was evening, the sky was pink and blue, I had two bags of groceries in both hands, and the whole first verse came to me while I was standing on the curb. Sometimes, you’re in a lot of pain, when you’re down, you just fantasize: ‘Would it all go away if I just stepped onto the road?’ The cars are so close. You feel the cars in your clothes. That was an actual moment when I was standing there, and it’s about the conversation you have with yourself about not doing it.” “Epilogue” “This was our ‘Thank you, we love you and goodbye.’ ‘Epilogue’ is just a little timeline of the band, then our story, and eventually a thank you. We go through a lot of the different Trophy Eyes sounds in the song as well. Not to be confusing, but after getting back together and writing again, this actually won’t be our last album.”